


heartbeat

by Rinkara



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Drunken Confessions, Introspection, M/M, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:54:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26578663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rinkara/pseuds/Rinkara
Summary: Yamato is drunk and stupid. You Won't Believe what happens next!
Relationships: Nikaidou Yamato/Yuki
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	heartbeat

**Author's Note:**

> In the post-part 4 world, anything is possible

Somehow, Yamato had ended up in the exact situation he had been trying to avoid for months.

He was alone with Yuki. In his apartment. And he was very drunk.

How did he end up like this? In a word, Yaotome. He had brought some excellent (expensive) sake to movie night. It really would have been shameful to turn it down. So they had started drinking, and perhaps he drank a bit more than everyone else. By the end of the movie, Yamato had realized his mistake, but it was too late. And before he knew it, that Judas had just left. He had said some stuff like "better off staying here," "puke on me" and "not again" on the way out. His betrayal would not be forgotten.

As Yamato sat on the couch lamenting his predicament, he could hear Yuki dealing with the aftermath of the festivities. He should probably at least _try_ to help out, but he really wasn't sure what would happen if he tried to stand. It had been quite a while since he had been... this was probably... borderline wasted? He should have known when to quit, so in the end he could really only blame himself.

"You know, I really thought you had finally learned the meaning of moderation." Yuki had finished cleaning and now stood a few feet away, a slightly bemused look on his face.

"Oh, shut up."

So he had noticed.

He was right, but did he really have to say it like that? Of course, what Yuki probably didn't know was that his recent turn toward sobriety had a direct correlation to the amount of time they had been spending together. There was work, of course. Apparently starring opposite each other in a movie will make people want to see you together in other things. Who knew. But aside from the work-related socializing, they had also just been... hanging out a lot? It sounded kind of stupid, but it was the truth. Kind of like when they had first met, except without the manual labor.

It's not that he didn't want to, but there was this feeling that he couldn't shake, and it had kept him constantly on guard.

"Hey... Yamato-kun."

"Uh. What?" How long had he been staring into space?

"You can stay here tonight. I'll get the futon."

Oh, hell no. No way. "It's fine, I don't need it."

"So I guess you're coming to bed with me, then? Well, okay, I'll even let you pick your side." 

Yamato felt his stomach churn, but it wasn't the sake this time. He didn't have to see it to know Yuki had that look on his face. The one he could never forget, that was somewhere between a real smile and a teasing smirk. It was impossible to read... but... Yeah, he really needed to leave.

"Oh my, how generous, but I'd rather have both sides of my own bed."

He stood up and took a moment to adjust. So far, so good. Maybe he'd be fine after all. Slowly, he started walking to the front door of the apartment... and then the room started spinning, so he sat down on the floor. Well, that had kind of failed miserably, and he didn't want to move again... Might as well just stay put. He tried to focus his eyes on something to re-orient himself, and they settled on a... miniature cactus... probably? It was across the room and kind of blurry, but either way, it did help a bit.

So anyway... yeah, a weird feeling lately. There was something inside of him that he was afraid to let out, or even acknowledge. Okay, fine, that wasn't new. Maybe his feelings had always been somewhat... complicated... but there had always been something else, something that would let him pretend it wasn't there. Anger, frustration, resentment, guilt--not exactly fun, but it worked. Now those things were gone, which was good... right? But somehow, it felt like maybe something even worse had taken residence. Instead of being in opposition, it was like these emotions were feeding into each other, like streams into a river. And here he was, just trying to build a dam out of sticks.

Seriously, when did it become so hard to ignore? Maybe it was after that taping when... Yuki was standing right behind him, wasn't he.

Yamato looked up and saw that Yuki was, indeed, standing right behind him. "Has anyone ever told you that you're kind of a creep?"

"Oh yes, someone has. Many times." The face peering down at him did not seem bothered by this in the least.

"Well, they're right."

Apparently that was simply hilarious, as Yuki's laughter floated overhead like some kind of weird cloud for a few seconds. Then it dissipated, as he stepped to the side and also sat down on the floor. "I brought you some water." He gestured to the hand that was indeed holding a large glass of water, then raised it up as an offering.

As Yamato reached for the glass, he realized how close they were. Like, really close. Did he always sit that close to people? Maybe just on the floor? Was that smell coming from his hair? It was pretty nice... He was definitely that type of person who always smelled good, no matter what. And looked good, too. That didn't seem fair. Honestly, he could stand to get messed up a little sometimes--well, never mind.

Yamato looked away and took a very long drink of water.

"Thanks."

"Mmm... You're sure you don't want to stay here?" He could feel Yuki's gaze fixed on him, waiting for a reply.

"I can't tell, are you actually concerned about me, or just a pervert?"

"Why can't I be both? You always underestimate me." That look again. He could feel it, too.

After another drink of water, and a pause that was a bit too long, Yamato responded as flatly as possible (which it turns out was not very), "I don't think it's a good idea." The silence that followed was agonizing, as it meant Yuki was probably actually thinking about the situation they were currently in. Please don't ask why...

"Can I ask why?"

Goddammit. He must be enjoying this.

Yamato finished off the glass of water, hoping it would clear his head so he could try and bullshit this properly. Unfortunately, his mental state remained unchanged. In that case, he would just keep it short.

"I just don't.

......Okay, since I know you're going to say it anyway, yes. I did stay here before, but that was different. First of all, you practically forced me, and then there was all the stuff with... you know. But not anymore. ...You think it's different, right? Like look at us, just hanging around all the time like old friends or something. Isn't that weird? A year ago I didn't even want to look you in the eye--"

"You aren't doing it now, either."

"Yeah, I'm looking at the floor so it won't move. ...The point is, I know this is good... But I also feel like I'm kind of going insane, and I've been trying not to do anything stupid... if I do, I'll regret it. So I need to go..."

In that moment Yamato's brain finally caught up to his mouth, and he realized he had not kept it short, and in fact had just unleashed a terrible stream of word vomit. For the first time ever, he wished it had been the real thing instead. It would have been much less embarrassing, and easier to clean up. As for this... he honestly didn't know what to do about it. So he just stopped talking and sat there, marinating in shame, for what were surely minutes but felt like hours.

Yuki hadn't moved, either. He didn't dare to look, but he could still smell his hair.

Okay, apparently they were both creeps.

He had just decided to take his chances and leave, when he felt something touch the top of his right hand. After waiting a moment to confirm it was indeed still there, and not a hallucination, he looked over... and saw another hand resting on his own. One with long, slender fingers and perfectly manicured nails. And a distinctive ring on the middle finger.

Yuki's hand... Must have been an accident, so he started to slide his hand out from underneath... or not...

As he tried to move, Yuki's fingers pressed into his hand with a gentle force, just enough to stop it from moving. And speaking of pressure, he was now feeling some in his chest. He looked up to find Yuki smiling at him. Not the torture smile, but a normal one. The feeling in his chest got just a bit worse.

"Uh... Did you just..."

"Do that on purpose?" Yuki continued to smile, and instead of answering directly, he gently squeezed Yamato's hand again. By now he was reasonably sure his chest could actually explode. It was both pain and pleasure, almost more than he could stand.

Maybe it was a bad idea. No, it was definitely a _terrible_ idea. But he didn't really want to leave anymore.

This time he didn't try to move his hand; instead, he flipped it so their palms touched. He still half expected the other hand to pull away, for Yuki to laugh and call him cute like he always did, and he would officially become the world's biggest dumbass. But that didn't happen this time. As their fingers entwined, for some reason he thought of pieces of a puzzle. Well, it wasn't the worst analogy.

Sometimes it takes a while to realize two pieces were supposed to be connected.

When he looked up again, he noticed a slight change in Yuki's face. His expression was the same, but his normally pale cheeks had a faint rosy tint... He was blushing.

Yamato's heart was pounding in his ears.

He was really... cute...

Oh, shit.

The dam was bursting, and he was being swept away. Part of him was screaming, telling him to swim or he would drown, but he couldn't hear. His head was already underwater. And he didn't know if he would survive, but he still wanted to see what was at the bottom.

In other words, he really, really wanted to kiss Yuki right now.

So that's what he did, and he discovered that Yuki had (really, really?) wanted to kiss him, too. They were soft and slow at first, like a polite introduction, but quickly became longer and deeper, as if each one were its own love letter. After all, they were old friends. As they continued, it felt like their bodies were the pieces of a much larger puzzle, and they were learning how they fit together. From their fingertips, to lips, ears, necks...

It might take a while, but at least they had started, and they could take their time to finish.

"Yama-ah... Yamato-kun."

"Hm."

"I'm tired... I think I need t-oh... can you s... ah... stop please."

"Oh... Sorry." Yamato pulled away and sat in front of Yuki, legs crossed. He was slightly out of breath and didn't feel like grabbing his glasses, which were out of reach, so he was squinting just a little. Very attractive. But hey, Yuki wasn't looking his best, either. His breathing was also a bit ragged, and his face was flushed. A small piece of hair was also stuck to his cheek. Maybe a little messed up... Yamato smiled to himself, and the tight feeling in his chest returned, but it was much more bearable now.

Maybe he should just tell him.

"Yuki-san, I--"

"Tomorrow..." Yuki's voice was quiet, but firm, and his response caught Yamato off guard.

"Huh?" Was he serious?

"Like I said, I'm tired. So, sleep on it, and if you don't regret it, you can tell me tomorrow." That smile was back. He was teasing again... or trying to give him an out.

Yamato wanted to argue, but knew it was pointless. He leaned forward and put his forehead on Yuki's chest, signaling defeat.

"Fufu, I'll look forward to it." Yuki put his arms around him and slowly stroked his hair with one hand. The rhythm of their heartbeats echoed together in his head.

Somehow, Yamato had ended up in the exact situation he had been trying to avoid for years.

**Author's Note:**

> i7 Rarepairs Week 2020 - this was originally for day 2, but it ended up consuming me for a few days so let's just leave it at that
> 
> Anyway, I wrote this to deliver a message that is very important to me, and that is I think they can and should kiss and hold hands. thank you for your time


End file.
